Melissa is taking her pants off!

Ok, we suck at updating right now. We would like to express our
sincerest apologies, but we hope that you take our lack of updates as
a good sign that we are just too busy seeing so many wonderful things!
Not that you all at home are any less important, we just want to make
sure we see everything so we have a lot to tell you about! See, it's
all about you folks at home!

Now to attempt to remember what we've done since we last wrote...

We'll start with our trip to the Globe Theatre. First off, Jess was
extremely perturbed that it is not really the Globe and that it is 40
feet away from the original spot and it is new and it is not the same!
Aside from that, what is in existence is absolutely gorgeous and it
was wonderful to sit in the theatre and imagine what it must have been
like in Shakespeare's time for all of the crazy prostitutes standing
with the groundlings (that's why he put in so many swordfights and
dirty jokes-competing for attention!) Jess would like you to not
forget that swords are phallic and can penetrate you any way they
would like. We really would like to go see a show performed there, but
the season doesn't start until two days before we leave, so we're
working on that!

On Tuesday night, we went to see Entertaining Mr. Sloane. Basically,
we got to see Dolores Umbridge's boobs. Not bad for 50! Her real name
by the way is Imelda Staunton and the show was excellent. She is an
amazing actress and the show was extremely well done. It was from the
Theatre of the Absurd, written by Joe Orton, which addressed many
taboo issues of the 60s including homosexuality, pregnancy out of
wedlock, abuse of the elderly, and the seducing of a younger man (and
here's to you Mrs. Robinson...).

Skip to Thursday. We took a nice long walk to Hyde Park so that we
could see the Peter Pan statue in Kensington Gardens. Melissa thought
it was a beautiful day, Jess was cold. Jess is also upset that she
thinks she is being painted in a bad light, she thought it was a
beautiful day too. Jess very much enjoyed the dogs and birds, coffee
wasn't so good. Melissa agrees. We both loved Peter Pan and the
gorgeous park. To be honest, after finding the Peter Pan statue we
devoted all of our energies to finding a cafe for coffee (surprised?)
but alas, the only thing we found was crappy machine produced
cappuccinos that all of the "football moms" seemed to be drinking.
However, along the way we discovered a wonderful dog tennis ball
throwing mechanism that looks like a pooper scooper/lacrosse stick.
There were a lot of dogs by the way! Many varieties and somehow they
are all extremely obedient. Sorry Daisy and Cody, you wouldn't make
the cut here.

Onto Friday. On Friday, we went to Cambridge with the group. The city
is gorgeous, very nice college town. We had a 2 hour walking tour of
the University, and we subsequently do not want to go back to
Binghamton. Yea, yea, those of you thinking "great, there Melissa goes
again!" don't worry, it wouldn't be until at least graduate school
because none of Binghamton's credits would transfer! There was a
really cool outdoor market there, Melissa got a Cambridge University
sweatshirt that she loves because it makes her look really collegiate
and smart! We also had traditional pasties there. They were really
yummy, but they may have been the catalyst for a three day long
Jessica stomachache. It was worth it.

After a hour and half train to Cambridge, and an hour and a half train
back to London, Jess and I got dinner, grabbed our bags, and got on a
hour and a half train to Crewe! There, we saw GEMMA!!! Gemma has the
same car as Richard. We are starting to believe that all people in the
United Kingdom our age have the same car. It's called a Ford Fiesta.
Everyone drives stick here, Melissa and Jessica are going to learn how
to drive stick when they get home. Melissa already knows how to shift,
it's the clutch thing that may cause a problem...

Gemma's house is sooooo cute! She lives on Westbury Close, which is
kind of like real Westbury except it's in England and much nicer
looking. Her whole family was so wonderful, and took outstanding care
of us! One of our favorite parts about being at Gemma's was that most
of the people we met had never met Americans before. This turned us
into quite the novelty! (Not that we crave attention or anything like
that...) At the pub on Saturday night, Melissa ordered a drink and the
bartender went "where are you from?" when she said "New York" he
replied "what are you doing here?!" The same bartender turned out to
also be a barista at a coffee shop we were in a few days later, and of
course remembered the American girls, and continued to stare at us and
smile awkwardly for about 2 hours, until we got up to leave and he
asked when we were there until, when we were coming back, and told us
how nice it was to meet us. We won't lie, we ate it up! Gemma also had
a friend who couldn't seem to decide between us. He started off
telling Gem that Jess was very pretty, but by the end of the night was
remarking on how he would like to take Melissa out to dinner. Oh
English Boys...

Speaking of English Boys, we're going to go off track for a minute to
comment on how the mating ritual in this country seems to consist of
making eyes at you, and then grabbing your ass; hard!! This has
happened to both of us, and many of our friends, multiple times. We're
beginning to think that the sexual harassment laws aren't as strict
here.

Back to Gemma. On Sunday night, Gemma's Nana and Papa invited us over
for Sunday Roast!! It was incredible!! Her Nana cooked it all from
scratch and there was roast beef, gravy, yorkshire pudding, two
different types of potatoes, broccoli, carrots, and pees! Followed of
course, by homemade apple pie and custard, and apparently there was a
rhubarb crumple but we didn't actually see anybody eat that! And then,
just as we were winding down, it was time for tea! In traditional Jess
and Melissa fashion, we were hungry an hour later. Luckily, Gemma had
pringles and a pear on hand. Gemma's mother could compare our eating
habits only to her future son-in-law, Simon, wondering where we put it
all! Jess thinks it makes complete sense because when you eat a lot
your stomach get stretched out and your hungry more easily. They
didn't think so. But then again, they'd never heard of Mono! Gem
needed an excuse to miss work to go to Paris, and Jess said "why don't
you pretend you have mono?" to which her mother, nana, papa, sister,
and future brother and law went "what?!" Jess tried to explain
"Mono... mononucleosis... when your spleen gets inflammed..." Blank
faces all around! They pretty much thought we made up the disease!
Melissa told Gemma to tell her boss that the Americans brought Mono
over in revenge for that small pox thing. Still no response.

The next morning, we went to breakfast with Gemma and Hannah. Hannah
told us that her mom once told her about Mono; it sounded as if it
were a long ago fairytale. Neither of them however, had ever heard of
anyone with this particular ailment. Aside from this, breakfast was a
lot of fun as we sat laughing like girls for a few hours. Oh, and the
tea biscuits were really good!

While a lot happened at Gemma's, most of it you had to be there for,
so we won't go into any more detail. The most interesting thing about
Monday was the snow! It snowed a whopping 3 inches and London was shut
down! No buses, only a few tube lines, and our train from Crewe was
delayed an hour and a half! The snow stayed on the ground for about 3
days (until it melted) despite the hard effort of the street workers
to push the snow into the drain using brooms. There was also a special
demonstration on the television about how to use a snow scraper for
your car! It's rocket science really! But that was nothing compared to
the lesson on anti-freeze!

Ok, enough of putting down the Brits for their lack of disease
knowledge and ability to deal with snow. We'll just say that they are
a healthy population with fortunately mild weather!

We didn't do anything of much interest in any of our classes this
week. They were good classes, just nothing to touch upon. On Tuesday
night, we went to see a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. It
was very well done, however we would have preferred to have seen it
with some of it's former cast members, namely Jason Perun and Stanley
Gelfand. It was a very modern production and we very much enjoyed it,
except for the entertainment at the wedding scene which went on for a
year and a half and wasn't funny. Melissa, by the way, would like one
of the fairy costumes, but Jess reminded her that she already has one.
She doesn't care, she would like another one please.

On Wednesday, we had our first baking extravaganza in London! We made
a birthday cake for our friend Kristine! It was chocolate cake on top
and banana cheesecake on the bottom, filled in with chocolate mousse
and topped with chocolate mocha frosting (all made from scratch!) Jess
did most of the baking, Melissa did most of the decorating. We make a
great team! Just ask anyone who ate it! For reference, you can find
pictures of this cake on facebook! We then went to a club called Zoo
Bar (don't worry Arnie and Stan, we weren't in any cages), where we
celebrated Kristine's 21st! We had a very good time except we don't
understand why the club felt the need to shoot popcorn out of the
ceiling every few minutes! It dirtied everyone's shoes and made the
dance floor very slippery! So much so that everyone though Melissa was
wasted because she kept falling down. We swear she was actually pretty
sober. Also, the popcorn helped us spot the creepers by watching who
ate it off of the floor! It was a top night!

Thursday was a lazy day. We slept until about 2:30 and got out of bed
around 4, when we decided to get fish and chips to go, and come back
to get back into bed. Adrienne and Kristine joined us in bed to watch
Serendipity. We then ate dinner and when Sarah got back from being
with her mom, we got back into bed and watched Pride and Prejudice.
After which, we went to bed.

Friday was a girl day! We went to see He's Just Not That Into You with
Roe, Ashley, Christine, Mary, Kristine, and Adrienne! The movie was
wonderful, but not nearly as wonderful as the movie theater itself.
Seriously, Melissa felt like she was back in Disney World! The movie
was awesome though and we're pretty sure someone had been watching the
two of us since we hit puberty and based the movie off of that
experience! Just kidding, we've totally never stalked boys before...
ever... ok that one time... but it doesn't count on the weekend!

When we got back from the movie, we had some dinner and started our
next baking adventure! Chocolate chip cookies for the whole group to
bring on the bus to Stonehenge this morning! Now, the thing about
chocolate chip cookies, is that they require chocolate chips, which
they don't seem to sell anywhere! But we persevered in true Melissa
and Jess fashion and made our own chocolate... well... chunks! We
bought some chocolate bars, and Melissa sat on the floor and smashed
them with a pot! She only smashed her own leg once, which left only a
nickel sized bump and bruise! It was an improvement from last time
when she cut the bars (for chocolate chip pancakes) and bruised her
right pointer finger, from which she still has a scar. It was a labor
of love however and everyone really appreciated the cookies! Oh, and
we left our door open while baking which led to a stream of heads
popping in because apparently the entire building smelled like
cookies!

Now to our trip today! We got up very early and got on a bus for a two
and a half hour ride to Stonehenge! When Melissa explained to Jess
that no one knows how the stones got there, she insisted that the Jews
built it, because, well, they built everything back then! It was a
really extraordinary sight to see, and sort of upsetting to hear a
great number of people remark "we came all the way here to look at
rocks?" It's amazing how much disrespect can exist within a small
number of people. Jess by the way, did appreciate, it was just cold
and she had already seen it on the history channel! Melissa, was in
awe and took pictures from every possible angle. Jess took these as
well, she was just cold while doing it. Jess would also like to know
why they don't let you see the other side; they're hiding something
over there!

After Stonehenge, we went to Bath. Here we had a break for lunch,
during which we ate (of course) and watched some fun street
performers. We then had a tour of the Roman Baths, for which we had
awesome audio guides! The Baths were really cool to see, but Jess was
annoyed that you weren't allowed to touch the water (not that everyone
on our trip obeyed this rule). Jess wishes she was more rebellious
sometimes. After seeing the Baths, we went with Sarah, Adrienne,
Kristine, and David to the Jane Austen Centre, where we had tea! They
had delicious scones, crumpets, and tea, in a really cute room with
cute tea sets! Melissa also bought an I

On the ride back, most everyone popped in their ipods and slept.
Halfway through the ride, Melissa had to pee, and knowing how much
time was left, she took the initiative to text our trip coordinator,
Emily, to ask for a bathroom stop, which luckily, she was given! It
just goes to show that it never hurts to ask! Jess didn't have to go.

So that's about it. We've been back in the flat since. We're going to
sleep in a few, because we are getting up at 6am so we can get
bracelets to stand at the red carpet for the BAFTA Film Awards
tomorrow. Basically, it's like the Oscars here and there will be a lot
of big stars!!! We're excited about everything except the cold.

Oh, before we forget, we have to explain the title. No, Melissa was
not being Jess's friend with loose morals again (although Jess tried
to make the bus believe that by announcing rather loudly that she was
taking off her pants). The true story is that because of the cold,
Melissa wore leggings underneath her jeans today, but the bus was so
hot that she had to take off her jeans when she got on it for the ride
back to London! Jess was wearing leggings under her jeans as well, but
she didn't take them off and was quite comfortable. She was the only
person who wasn't complaining about the heat. Sometimes it's ok to be
different!

So that's all for now. We'll try to be better about updating so there
are no more overloads like this. Miss and love you all.

Keep your pants on! (We hear it's cold in NY!)
<3 Jess and Mel